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  • For Year 2000-07




  • Home > G for Gender > Gender Poems > My Crime: A Promise

    My Crime: A Promise
    by Zehra Nigah

      My child, I've told you a story: thousands of times
      Nestling in the veils of a lullaby.
      Sometimes I rocked you to sleep, cuddled and cradled by my words
      I touched your warm cheeks with my cold lips
      I promised your something
      That promise which is the destiny of human beings
      of protection, of honour, of esteem.

      My child,
      The tired and exhausted girl in the story
      Was not a princess, it was me
      That magical place
      Which burnt to a desert in an instant was my home
      When only the needles in the eyes remained
      Those dreams were mine
      And all those who besieged me
      Were not outsiders, they were my own kin.
      In her story
      Lies my truth

      Where she looked back and turned to stone
      There was my love
      And thousands of fields of fire
      rainfalls of blood

      All that was my story
      all that happened to me.
      My child, in that story
      that tired and exhausted girl
      was not a princess, it was me.

      Where the story ended
      my child!
      there you came in
      a symbol of life and happiness
      a constant dream of desires
      a guarantee of companionship and truth
      where there were only happy endings to every fiction
      My child, that's where you came in….
      where you came in.

      My eyes were weary with the wounds of a promise
      Your reflection was a balm to those wounds
      My hands trembled with unkept resolutions
      your company was a constant comfort

      I admitted
      I am only dust
      and your: beauty and adornment
      I was aware
      that I am fear itself
      and you: peace and comfort

      I am the past
      but you glow like a future heaven
      I am tribulation itself
      but you, like hope, are the solution itself

      My child
      my feelings and admissions both stand guilty today
      Head bowed, I listen to the charge against me
      Instead of roses I pick thorns from
      the 'chadur' of my desires

      Do you know
      what the allegation is
      that promise which is the destiny of human beings
      of protection, of honour, of esteem.

     

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